I live in anxiety. It follows me to the office, out to the bar, and even sometimes in my own home. I acknowledge my depression. In fact, in recent years I have become abundantly self-aware about all of these struggles. I see my anxiety as a constant obstacle. It stops me from talking to women, it stops me from writing songs, and it stops me from being myself all too often. I see my depression as a necessary occurrence to even the emotional scale of life. I contend that one cannot fully appreciate the greatest moments in life if they’re always happy. Thanks to these mental blocks I am constantly apologizing for myself and trying to fix myself for those around me. In my mind I need to always improve. If something occurs that negatively shapes my relationships or situation I feel I need fix myself. It’s time I tried a new solution. In recent months I have started to make lifestyle changes that will shape the way I perceive obstacles and my status in life. I have worked my way from 204 pounds to 187 pounds. I quit drinking. Im dedicating myself to my health. I am seeking out the things in life that give me purpose. Im putting my heart back into my guitar. The last change I am working on is always trying to give back to myself and be unapologetically me.
I would like to sincerely thank all the people who have let me be myself over the last few years. Whelan, Pat, Alex, Jenn, Tim, Josh, and Wondra you guys have no idea how much I appreciate you.